At a young age my parents divorced and my father started to slowly fade away from the picture.  At first I just spent time with him on weekends, then it was one weekend a month, and by the time I became an adolescent our relationship had fully withered away.  I spent a lot of time in my teenage to early adult life wondering about why my father wasn’t a part of my life.  Was it that he didn’t want to be a dad, or that he just simply didn’t know how to be one?  As I got older I started to see the systems all around me that prevented men from inhabiting fatherhood as their whole authentic selves.  Toxic masculinity creating a narrow definition of what it is to be a man, narratives in mainstream culture of absent fathers, and the trap of overworked and provider only mentality to name a few.  Where was the picture/image of a father who is fully engaged in loving partnership, in fulfilling work, and in their own passions and interests? 

I knew that I always wanted to be a dad and eventually I fell in love with my current wife and we began to start a family.  When she became pregnant I made a deep commitment to myself and to my future children that I would do it differently.  I would be fully there as a father - present, loving, supportive, and patient.  I wasn’t going anywhere, I would be in the relationship with my child or children as a father for the duration.  

During pregnancy I started to have conversations with other fathers about what I should do to prepare and what to expect/what it will be like having a kid.  I listened to podcasts, read books, practiced my dad jokes, and sought out support and preparation wherever I could.  I was disappointed with cliche answers and lack of opportunity to step into this next phase as best as I could.  How will I be the best father that I can be?  What other resources might be available to me?  There’s a lot available for women during pregnancy and after, and rightly so, as that is some seriously tough and amazing shit!  But where are the support systems, classes, and resources for soon-to-be fathers and new fathers?  

That’s why I created Step Into Fatherhood, to help support men in their journey of fatherhood before and after birth.  There isn’t one roadmap and one size fits all - it’s a personal path.